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Celebrations Signal End of AC X: Kiko Lake Wins the Cup!

on Friday, July 3rd 2015 @ 4:00 pm EST by xblade356

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Well. Here we are. My friends, the long-awaited day has come. Every single one of you has worked your fingers to the bone in one capacity or another, and we've been glad to be right there with you every step of the way. This is Brooke, bringing you the very last report for the tenth Altador Cup, in our beloved studio here at The Daily Neopets. This occasion is so very bittersweet. Funnily enough, that word also describes this rather disappointing cup of coffee.

grundo sweeping party Without further adieu, I bring you the final results! The brooms certainly had the last laugh today, as every single one of today's nine matches ended in a sweep.

The Alabriss bracket brought us three entirely expected shutouts. First, the Kikos went up against the Mummies. Kiko Lake finished out the year with one last sweep, with only a single blemish on their record. The Lost Desert has had a fairly good year as well, only being swept themselves a handful of times.

saaaad sad magma The match between the Darigan Citadel and Moltara brought us our second sweep. The last time these two went head-to-head, the Magmas managed a single win. Today, however, the Minions got the best of them. The Magmas have ended the Cup with not a single sweep to show for it. But there's always next year!

The last match of the last Alabracket showed Meridell coming up against the Haunted Woods. The Zombies have fallen far from their win in last year's cup, and just couldn't catch a break Today was no exception, as they fell prey to the Knights' superior skills. Again. Last time they pulled off at least a draw, but this time they had no such luck. The Knights, however, have had their best round yet to finish off the year!

midtime is really good at disguise Next up, the Minitheus bracket! I'd ask Midtime to do it, but they went undercover as a slushie vendor earlier today and they haven't come back yet. I hope they're okay...

Anyway. The Minitheus bracket brought us some interesting matchups as well. Maraqua marched into the final match with their heads held high and filled with visions of beating back the fearsome Fossils. But Tyrannia surprised no one when they completely shut out the Mermaids. They've suffered sweeps only twice this year, at the hands of the Kikos.

such colours! Shenkuu took on Mystery Island next. The Natives ran roughshod over the unprepared Ninjas, who won only a single game in the last three rounds combined. Ouch. The Natives, however, were thrilled to end things on a high note with their third sweep of the year.

The culminating matchup of the Minitheus bracket fell to Krawk Island and Virtupets. The Robots landed a sweep today, making for an even fifth of their total days of play. The Pirates ultimately did them one better, managing six sweeps total.

Last but not least, let's cruise through the Vaeolus bracket.

secret club Joining the ranks of the (highly unofficial) five-sweeps club today was Brightvale as they took on Altador and summarily drove them into the ground. The Suns were a few steps behind the Wizards as they earned just two sweeps this year. Perhaps they'll shine brighter next year?

Next, the Rooligans staged an epic comeback against the Faeries, who beat them in two of four events in round three. This time around, Roo Island swept Faerieland under the rug with extreme prejudice. The Faeries didn't attain a single sweep all year, but they did pull off some pretty impressive wins against teams they've been flattened by before.

one of my favourite AC graphics. also it is disgustingly hot in my houseAnd now the absolute last result I will deliver to you, my friends! Kreludor swept Terror Mountain, were only swept twice (by the Kikos, surprise surprise), and are generally feeling good about themselves. The Chillers were close behind, swept only thrice, and definitely have their own triumphs to celebrate today.

taking a bow So. That's the last matchup. And what a year it's been! I'll turn things over to Matt, who will give us the final standings overall, from the bottom of the heap all the way to the top tier! Take us out, Matt!

wheeeeeee After twenty-five days of intense gameplay, Altador Cup X has finally ended! This is Matt, live from the studio with the results of the final rankings for each team! It is time to crown another winner, and we'll find out which team that is in a moment. But first, in order to build up suspense, I'll be revealing rankings from bottom to top! So as to not waste any of your precious time, let's get started with the eighteenth place team!

zombie Coming in eighteenth were the Zombies who were dealt a major blow by the "Winner's Curse" in this year's Cup. After starting off the first round with a sprinkle of wins, Haunted Woods was unable to find any green for four days, and they had continuous dry streaks throughout this Cup. However, with the brunt of the curse over with, fans should expect the Zombies to stage a comeback in next year's Cup.

magma Next in seventeenth we have Moltara! Although the Magmas had a rough start to the tournament, they were able to pick up some wins by the middle of the Cup. Slushie Slinger and Make Some Noise were the Magmas' strong points throughout this tournament where they earned five wins, higher than many analysts were predicting. Overall, the Magmas exceeded expectations, and we'll have to wait and see until next year if they're able to make a splash like they have done before.

robot Our next four teams were separated by only four points! It was a close fight to rise out of the lower tiers. Rounding out the bottom three in sixteenth place with forty-two points were the Robots. Although the Robots had a rough start to the tournament, by the fourth round they were able to get their engines going and gather up wins. They might not be the same podium performing team as they were last year, but the Robots had notable moments with their two-time victory against Krawk Island, and the tie with Tyrannia in Make Some Noise. The Robots have shown that they are capable of holding their own against powerhouse teams, but they'll need to work on their bracket performances if they wish to make a comeback in next year's tourney.

native In fifteenth place with forty-three points are the Mystery Island Natives! The Natives may have dropped from their eleventh place finish from last year, but they're still as strong as ever. Holding their own against Krawk Island twice, and defeating the Minions the second time around, the Natives were a force to be reckoned with this year. However, the Natives are in the same boat as the Robots. With excellent performances in the four games all around, they'll need to figure out how to rise up in the bracket standings to rack up more points.

wizard Brightvale is next coming in fourteenth place with forty-four points! The Wizards were one of the best lower middle teams in this tournament. They gained notable recognition among all the teams when Monticeto led his team to a fantastic 12-7 win in Yooyuball against the Kikos, ruining their near perfect tournament record. Although the Wizards placed lower than expected, they'll forever be etched into the annuls of Altador Cup history!

faerie Rounding out the bottom six was Faerieland with forty-five points! The Faeries made team history this Cup coming in thirteenth, the highest ever placing for the long standing underdog team! The Faeries' yooyuball skills were much more refined in this year's Cup, earning them crucial points. The Faeries win record in Yooyuball came close to Altador Cup greats like Krawk Island, Darigan Citadel, and Roo Island. Outperforming many of the other underdog teams, it may be time for the Faeries to leave their underdog title behind and aspire to greater heights!

sun After their drastic drop to the bottom of the pack in last year's Cup, the Suns are slowly rising back up with a twelfth place finish! They were well rounded in this year's Cup, earning four wins in each of the four games. While it may not be the podium performing team we saw in Altador Cup VIII, it is a step in the right direction. Similar to the Faeries, it may be time for the suns to shed off their underdog title and pass on that torch.

ninja Shenkuu rose up in the standings to claim an eleventh place finish in this year's Cup with fifty-three points, only one ahead of the Suns' fifty-two. The Ninjas started out the tournament with strong victories in the first round, mainly in Slushie Slinger and Shootout Showdown. However, they struggled by the third round, going on a long dry streak that ended after their win in Slushie Slinger against the Robots in the fifth round. Shenkuu will need to improve in stamina during the off-season in order to continue to rise in the standings. This year's finish will be a stepping stone for the Ninjas to improve in the future.

mermaid the beST CREST FOR THE BEST TEAM WHOOOO Heading into the middle tiers, Maraqua performed consistently throughout the entire tournament, landing them a safe tenth place finish. An improvement from last years' twelfth place finish, the Mermaids will be looking to once again rise up in next year's Cup. With notable victories against Darigan Citadel and twice against the Pirates, this final rank was well-deserved, but the Mermaids will need to improve their Yooyuball skills slightly to improve their overall rank.

minion Darigan Citadel came in ninth place, making team history, albeit, the wrong type of history. This year's finish marks the first time the Minions have finished below seventh place. With a great start to the tournament, the Minions' lost steam in the fourth and fifth round, struggling to gain any victories, only finding success against underdog teams. This seems to be a constant issue for the Minions, who will need to address this during the off-season if they wish to be the powerhouse team that they once were.

knight Meridell finished in eighth place with seventy-seven points, tied with Krawk Island. Although it was only a jump up one spot from last year's Cup finish of ninth, the Knights showed many signs of improvement. Meridell will be a team to watch out for in next year's Cup, as they're slowly improving and rising to the upper tiers. The Knights hit a rough patch in the middle of the tourney, so they'll have to figure out how to overcome that issue.

pirate seriously how did they finish this high i can't even With seventy-seven points, the Pirates finished in seventh place! Like the Knights, this finish is a one up from last year's Cup. This may mark the beginning of a return for the Pirates, and with consistent performances throughout this Cup the only area the Pirates will need to focus on is dealing with powerhouse teams. Krawk Island has certainly proved rumors that they've past their prime as false, and will be working even harder to rise up and be the powerhouse team they once were.

rooligan the roos always sneak up on me too After their three-way tie for thirteenth last year, Roo Island made a significantly large jump up the standings to land in sixth place! They performed excellently in this year's Cup, especially in the side games where they were able to obtain their majority of wins. Although their Yooyuball skills could use some polishing, the Rooligans excelled in Make Some Noise. However, we've seen this pattern before with the Rooligans, and if history will indeed repeat itself, the Rooligans are in for a rough season next year.

chiller The Chillers also were able to break a previous team record by finishing fifth in this year's Cup. With average scores of 7's and 8's throughout the entire tournament, the Chillers were known for their side game prowess. Only losing three games in Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown, the Chillers were a force to be reckoned with! If they can make a few changes to improve their Yooyuball and Slushie Slinger performances, their chances at a podium finish in next year's Cup will improve. Will they be able to scale the daunting mountain?

mummy Like the Rooligans, the Mummies made a drastic jump in the standings and finished in fourth this year. Although the Mummies won less game compared to the Chillers, they were consistent throughout the entire Cup. The Mummies started off the Cup strong, winning thirteen of fifteen matches overall in the first three rounds of gameplay. They faltered slightly in the fourth round, but regained their groove in the fifth, finishing the tournament with solid overall results across the board. The Mummies have been bouncing in between upper and lower tier finishes, so spectators will be wondering if the Mummies will suffer a drop in the standings in next year's Cup.

fossil Now it's time for the teams who placed on the podium! It was a tough fight as there were many podium contenders in this year's Cup, but these three teams were able to best the rest of the competition! Tyrannia finished in third, taking home the bronze this year! After their win in Altador Cup VIII, the Fossils are still going strong with a fourth place finish in Altador Cup IX and now a third place finish. With only a handful of losses throughout the entire tournament, the Fossils steamrolled through the competition to take the well deserved podium finish. Tyrannia was able to beat down the "winner's curse", and still perform consistently. Will they be able to take the Cup yet again next year?

moon After their two-time seventh place finish in Altador Cup VIII and IX, the Moons have graced the podium with their presence once again finishing just short of first place. Kreludor performed very well throughout the entire Cup, only losing a handful of games to the other podium finishers. The Moons were also known for their side game prowess averaging results of 8's and 9's. Although they aren't as immune to the "winner's curse" as the Fossils are, the Moons are still a strong team that has a chance to aim for the Cup once again in next year's tourney.

kiko yayyyyy Now, the moment that you've all been waiting for! The winner of the tenth annual Altador Cup is none other than Kiko Lake! The Kikos dominated the rest of the teams in this year's Cup, gathering a seventeen day win streak before Brightvale came along. Only dropping one game this entire season, the Kikos were just short of a tournament record twenty-five day win streak. However, the Kikos did set new side game records this year with high scores of twenty in Slushie Slinger and Shootout Showdown, and a mind-boggling score of thirty in Make Some Noise. The Techo would certainly be proud! The big question on everyone's mind currently is the "winner's curse", and how badly it'll affect the Kikos, if at all. However, all will be revealed next year, and as for now the Kikos will enjoy celebrating this magnificent victory with some treats from the lake! I know the staff here at The Daily Neopets will certainly be enjoying the festivities.

 

This has been Matt, signing off on behalf of Brooke, Midtime, and the rest of our staff here at The Daily Neopets. We sincerely thank you for sticking with us and making us your number one news source for all things Altador Cup related. Until next year, stay classy folks.

 

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Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily).

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Breaking: You Have Nice Shoes

on Monday, June 29th 2015 @ 12:42 pm EST by Midtime


Hello, hello, hello, and welcome back to The Daily Neopets' Altador Cup coverage! Brooke's back, baby, and limiting herself to one caffeinated beverage a day. For the safety of herself and others, and largely at the request of her superiors. Before we get on with the penultimate Alabriss bracket, I'd like to take a moment to thank my incredible fellow reporters for their continued patience, enthusiasm, and their shoes.

this picture is irrelevant And now the moment you've all been waiting for. The Alabriss bracket results are in! The Lost Desert and Meridell took to the field for the second time this year. The Mummies didn't fare quite as well as they did the last time they came up against the Knights; this time the Knights managed to take two events rather than just the one. The Mummies took both Yooyuball and Slushie Slinger. Going into the final match, the Lost Desert is sitting just shy of the podium, and Meridell is tied for seventh. It's the moment of truth!

le sweeps Next up on the roster was a match between Zombies and Minions. The Darigan Citadel was thrilled to snag a complete sweep after being swept themselves four times in a row. The Haunted Woods, however, have only been able to avoid being swept about a third of their matches this year. The Zombies are presently at the bottom of the standings; this is their last chance to save face. The Minions are currently holding the Maraquans off at ninth place.

floating fabulous kiko In the last match of the bracket, the (very, very nearly) unbeatable Kikos took on the struggling Magmas and found themselves in a familiar position of sweeping victory. Kiko Lake just has to keep Kreludor off their backs for one more day, and they will claim the top of the podium for the first time in the history of the Cup. Moltara, however, will be endeavouring just to stay off the bottom.

And with that, I'll turn things over to Midtime for the Minitheus bracket. What's the haps, Midtime?

[Camera pans to Midtime.]

Lutari wrapped in blanket. Er, they're for staff to catch naps with in between broadcasting sessions. You'll find them in the second supply closet, underneath the stack of Spyder egg trays (at least until some one reorganises in there). The Spyder egg trays are there mainly to discourage staff from catching naps too often, as I understand it.

Ah, I always seem to go off-topic at the beginning of these sections. On to the Minitheus results! Here they are.

Flotsams underneath the sea. Maraqua opened the bracket's matches with a repeat of their earlier sweep against the Ninjas. The match was an absolute delight to watch - the Mermaids really did seem to be in top form, giving absolutely everything they had to score these last, most valuable points. As the Ninjas can unfortunately testify, however, no amount of effort can really guarantee victory; and despite having done their best, they have no victory yet to show for it this round. We may not have the chance to see one of Shenkuu's famous turnabouts this season.

Team Tyrannia, of course, overwhelmed the Pirates with large margins in all events; the prowess that earned them third place has not faded. As the final round approaches its end, Tyrannia fans are becoming increasingly enthusiastic. Fans gather regularly outside the Colosseum in flocks of brown and orange, holding night-long revels beneath glowing tarpaulins that ripple with the vibrations of ancestral rock-and-roll. I have sought interviews with them, but as I approached one of these gatherings, I was intercepted by an innocuous-seeming Neopet, who offered - no, who menaced me, I know it - with a bag of onion rings.

[Midtime shudders.]

Gaining entrance will not be a simple task.

Virtupets logo. Now, in the most exciting match of the bracket, Team Virtupets just edged out the Natives on the pitch, scoring the goal that brought them to victory thanks only to a narrow dodge on the part of left forward Striker 3.8. This took place during the game's first fifteen minutes, making the remainder of the game a tense, hours-long battle for Virtupets' lead as the Natives slowly, painstakingly closed the score gap - too slow, alas, for them. (Attempts to reach Captain Volgoth for comments on his team's ultimately unsuccessful strategy met, unfortunately, with no success.) The audience gave Make Some Noise to the Robots as well, and the slushie contest settled at an even draw: with the Natives triumphant at least in the shootouts, the overall result of the match might well have been a draw as well, if not for that one fateful goal.

This concludes the Minitheus bracket. Here is Matt with our final batch of results!

[Camera pans to Matt.]

CRAZYYYY Thanks Midtime, I'm glad to see that everyone is physically present for today's report, but as for their mental state...well that's another question that needs to be addressed. Let's not worry for now, I've been told by my supervisor that the situation is under control, as for now, let's head straight into the results from the Vaeolus Bracket.

Captured The underdogs had a rough time in today's matches as they were dominated by their opponents. Altador and Faerieland were crushed by podium contender Kreludor and mid tier team Brightvale in today's match, respectively. While the match between the Faeries and the Wizards was closer in terms of scores, the results were inevitably the same. However, there is a slight glimmer of hope for the Suns in today's match. If they continue to perform like they did so today, they'll have a good chance to pick up a few victories.

Rounding out the Vaeolus Bracket we had upper tier teams Roo Island and Terror Mountain go head to head with each other. Both teams certainly proved today why they're recognized for their side game performances. Although the match may seem one-sided on paper, looking closely at the results the Rooligans came close to drawing in Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown, short only by a single point. They were able to force the draw in Slushie Slinger, while the Chillers took Yooyuball.

Suns Moving on, tomorrow marks the final day of gameplay, and spectators will not be disappointed by the amount of action! First up, Altador and Brightvale will be going head to head in the final day. Altador made a magnificent push against the Faeries the other day, and if they're able to repeat that performance, they'll have a good chance to end the fifth round on a high note.

Pirate fight In our next match, Krawk Island and Virtupets will be battling it out on the Yooyuball field, which will likely be the decider in today's match. The Pirates are predicted to win Slushie Slinger and Make Some Noise while the Robots have the advantage in Shootout Showdown. Which team will be able to win in Yooyuball to give them the overall victory?

A close matchup between upper tiered teams Kreludor and Terror Mountain will be occurring today. Although the Chillers are mainly known for their side game performances, the Moons have the advantage in Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown. The Chillers will need to focus and take Yooyuball and Slushie Slinger.

That wraps up our matches to watch! With only one final day of gameplay left, all teams will be looking to make their final push to solidify their position in the standings. Until then, this is Matt signing off.


Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily).

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Suns Surge Forward to Victory

on Sunday, June 28th 2015 @ 5:41 pm EST by Midtime

[The studio. Midtime and Matt are present.]

Greetings, one, and greetings, all! It's been an excellent one day (and no more than that) on the pitch, and I and Matt are very glad to tell you all about the results which we have both been so diligent in collecting. I, for example, most certainly did not spend the entirety of yesterday finalising a detailed dissertation on Matt's use of witchcraft to predict future Cup match-ups and their results, only to discover at the last moment that he was in fact employing the far more obscure art of statistical analysis. Let us proceed promptly to the Alabriss results.

Chillers The Magmas unfortunately could not weather the Lost Desert heat, falling to another fateful sweep in a brutal game of somewhat backwards wordplay. Although commentators expected no less from the Mummies, captain Leera Heggle was heard to call it a "doozie of a match", nodding in a complimentary fashion to the Moltara team - in context, I presume that he meant they were a hardy opponent. The term 'doozie' probably alludes to a Lost Desert proverb about a flower that survives against the elements.

[An intern hands Midtime a sheet of paper.]

Ah, it appears my supervisor had this delivered just in time to inform me that I am dead wrong. I am informed that 'doozie' is not regionally specific, and is in fact a widespread slang term which I have heard, and in fact used, several times within the past hour. I have somehow managed to forget this, a probable occurrence which my supervisor foresaw just in time to send this despatch. My supervisor hopes that they are not too late to prevent me from embarrassing myself on live television. How thoughtful!

Back to work My supervisor would also like me to get back on topic. How did - um, never mind.

Meridell In a much friendlier re-enactment of an ancient rivalry, Meridell soundly trumped the Minions in the second sweep of a day that would turn out to have many more. The Knights have done well for themselves throughout the Cup, even taking the occasional win from the powerhouses of the season; it seems they are aiming to end their part in this year's games in a most memorable fashion.

The Zombies, meanwhile, had trouble recreating their previous success against Kiko Lake, who are still first in the running to take home the Cup. Locked into the same bracket as the Kikos, the Mummies, and the Knights, Team Haunted Woods may have a difficult time gathering themselves for a last hurrah before the end of the season.

Maraqua shield Meanwhile - in the Minitheus Bracket, Maraqua scored a definite win against their symbolic nemeses from Krawk Island, taking all but one of the events. The Pirates kept themselves from a sweep with a well-staffed slushie service and a serendipitous flavour, which is likely to outlast this year's Cup and be repackaged as something with a higher price tag, advertisements for which will be briefly seen on this channel as the product enjoys a brief burst of popularity before fading into disuse, protected from public repossession by a patent meaninglessly renewed for centuries by a company which, if it were a living creature, would be seen to treat everything around it with envy and fear. If Maraqua make a good push, they may yet make it into the single-digit rankings. What an exciting two days it will be for them!

Team Virtupets made a series of remarkable saves against the Ninjas, earning their victory ultimately by virtue of penalty shots. The results met great cheering from their half of the stadium, while Shenkuu fans had victory in only one category - refreshments - to celebrate.

Wila Benne Team Tyrannia broke Mystery Island's winning streak to continue their own, sweeping the Natives entirely off the field. Unlike yesterday, their cheering teams came through in ensuring their victory - good news for the Fossils, who will need every last point they can score to hold on to the podium. It seems that the spirit of the blue Techo is with them today.

That covers the Minitheus bracket! How fortunate that I was able to avoid any irrelevant tangents while reporting. Matt will now provide the Vaeolus results.

[The feed shifts to Matt. Midtime is still in-frame, but under subtle directions from a cameraperson, scoots gingerly away to the right.]

RUN Thanks Midtime! Was I glad to see you! I thought you and Brooke ditched me to go out and have fun...I mean...I was worried about you both! Uhhh anyways, let's get straight into the results from the Vaeolus Bracket.

DEFENSE!The Suns were victorious in today's match between the two underdogs. Although the Faeries came close in Yooyuball and Shootout Showdown, the Suns' Yooyu-slinging skills proved to be too much for the Faeries to handle. Altador walks away with their second sweep of the tournament, and a well deserved one if I may add. Salayne Ritad, Altador's goalkeeper defended the goal down to the last second, preventing the Faeries' offense from scoring crucial points needed to win the game. On the other hand, forwards Foltaggio and Winberto Seliz broke through the Faeries' defense and scored excellent goals, propelling Altador to win their match. The Suns are up against Kreludor in today's match, but if they can continue playing at this level, they stand a fighting chance!

Chillers The Chillers were able to quell doubts about their side games skills as Brightvale was swept by the Chillers in today's match. In addition to averaging 7's in the side games, the Chillers went on to take Yooyuball as well, completing the sweep. This marks the third straight sweep for the Wizards. With only two days of gameplay left remaining in this tournament, the Wizards will need to regroup and figure out a way to finish the tournament on a high note. Their match against Faerieland today might just be the opportunity they're looking for.

Yay Roos For the last matchup of the Vaeolus Bracket, the Rooligans were able to make a successful push to prevent a sweep today against the Moons. Kreludor wasn't able to finish the job today as they allowed the sweep to fall right through their hands. It was a difficult match for the Rooligans, but in the end they were able to tie in Slushie Slinger which is not an easy feat to accomplish when you're up against a podium contender. The Moons were able to take the rest of the games as expected, but my guess is that Roo Island will be celebrating tonight! Now let's move on.

Smug For today's matches to watch, upper tiered teams Lost Desert and Meridell will be facing off against each other today! This match will definitely be a close one, and the winner will likely be whoever is able to take Yooyuball. Both teams are predicted to win two games apiece, therefore, the games that each team wins are vital in determining the winner.

Maraqua and Shenkuu will also be going against each other today. The Ninjas might be able to pull off a draw in Yooyuball and Slushie Slinger which would end their losing streak. Will the Ninjas be able to pull off this daunting task?

The Robots and Natives will be battling it out on the field today in what is predicted to be a very close match. If either the Robots or the Natives are able to take Yooyuball or Slushie Slinger, the outcome of the match will likely change.

There's only two days left until the winner of the Altador Cup is announced! Stay tuned as we bring you the latest coverage. This is Matt signing off.

Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily).

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Sweeps, Sweeps and Missing Reporters!

on Saturday, June 27th 2015 @ 7:48 am EST by xblade356


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Hello and welcome back to The Daily Neopets' coverage of Altador Cup X! This is Matt reporting live from the studio. Brooke has decided to take the night off after a caffeine related "incident", so I'm here to take over the Alabriss Bracket. Let's get started right away!

Smug Kiko It was business like usual for the Kikos in today's matchup as they were able to easily dispatch the Minions' offense in Yooyuball. The Minions' 3's and 4's were a long way from winning today's matchup as the Kikos dominated this match as expected. With only three matches left before the end of the tournament, the Minions will need to make a big push if they wish to finish above seventh place this year.

The underdog teams Haunted Woods and Moltara put up a valiant effort in today's matches, but both teams were struck down by far superior teams. Lost Desert and Meridell were able to sweep Haunted Woods and Moltara respectively. Although both underdog teams were able to contend in Yooyuball, it wasn't enough as the upper tier teams were able to close out the games as well as side sweep them, resulting in a full sweep.

That concludes the results from the Alabriss Bracket, let's transition over to Midtime for the results from the Minitheus Bracket while I get the Vaeolus Bracket ready.

Confused Matt stares awkwardly at the camera for a few seconds with a confused look on his face

One man show I'm not sure where Midtime is right now, but I guess it's a one man show tonight! Give me a moment to gather the results.

Matt frantically searches for the results. He finds them, then takes a deep breath and focuses on the camera once again.

I guess I'll be covering the Minitheus Bracket as well! Compared to the Alabriss and Vaeolus Brackets, the Minitheus Bracket had more diversity in their results.

Stealth Of course it wouldn't be the Altador Cup without a sweep though as Krawk Island dominated Shenkuu in today's match. The Ninjas' stealth skills had no effect on the Pirates on the Yooyuball field as they were able to walk away with a clean sweep.

Virtupets On the other hand, the match between Tyrannia and Virtupets ended with an unexpected draw in Make Some Noise. Virtupets, who hasn't been known for their side game prowess was able to tie with the Fossils in Make Some Noise, preventing a full sweep. This draw came at a sacrifice to the other three remaining games, but the Robots will be sure to mark this a victory.

Natives Wrapping up the Minitheus Bracket we had the Natives and the Mermaids go head to head, and as predicted it was a very close match indeed! The Natives' yooyu slinging skills won them the match today as they were able to defeat the Mermaids in Yooyuball and Shootout Showdown. The Mermaids didn't go down without a fight, as they were able to take Make Some Noise and tie in Slushie Slinger. Although the Natives are currently fifth in the Minitheus Bracket, they've been able to hold their own against Krawk Island and now the Mermaids. Will they be able to rise in the standings?

For our final bracket of the day, I've been able to gather the results from the Vaeolus Bracket in between brackets, so let's dive right into the results! The Vaeolus Bracket saw the same results as the start of the fifth round! The only difference being the teams that the victors were up against.

Terror Mountain Underdogs Altador and Faerieland fell once again, this time to Roo Island and Terror Mountain respectively. Although the Suns made a big push in Yooyuball, the Rooligans were able to hold out and prevent the Suns from stopping their sweep. The two underdog teams are up against each other in today's matchup. Hopefully we'll be able to see a closer match rather than a shutout victory.

Kreludor The Moons also dominated today, cleanly sweeping the Wizards. It seems as if Brightvale has returned to normal. Although the Wizards came close to drawing in Yooyuball, similar to the underdog teams in this bracket, it wasn't enough as the Moons inched slightly ahead. Kreludor is currently first in the Vaeolus Bracket, and a podium finish is in sight if they are able to hold this position. With only a few days left in the tournament, will Terror Mountain or Roo Island be able to dethrone the Moons?

Catch them balls Moving on to our matches to watch, underdogs Altador and Faerieland will be going head to head in today's matchup. The last time these two teams faced off against each other was during the opening day of the tournament! Both teams have improved significantly since the beginning of the Cup, and they'll be looking to prove that as they try to take each other down. Slushie Slinger and Shootout Showdown will be the deciding factors of this tournament since both teams have a chance to take the win in those games.

Knight Spectators will also be delighted at the matchup between long time rivals Darigan Citadel and Meridell, and again, the last time these two teams were against each other was during the opening day. Regardless, the Minions' performance has been a bit shake recently, and the Knights will be looking to exploit this opportunity and take the victory in today's match. However, the Minions will likely be making a push in Slushie Slinger and Shootout Showdown to prevent a full blown sweep. These two matches seem strikingly similar!

Roar Moving on to our last match to watch, the battle to reign supreme in the seas will commence today. Krawk Island and Maraqua will be battling against each other. Maraqua is predicted to have a slight advantage, but the Pirates are a force to be reckoned with and should not be underestimated.

That wraps up today's report! With only a few days remaining in this year's Altador Cup, both players and spectators alike are excited to find out the results of this year's Cup. However, we still have three more days of gameplay to cover so don't quit now! This is Matt signing off.
 

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Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily).

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Matches Heat Up in Final Stretch; Slushie Prices Rise

on Friday, June 26th 2015 @ 1:15 pm EST by Midtime

Rise and shine, Cuppers! It's time for the report! Welcome back to The Daily Neopets' most excellent Altador Cup X report. This is Brooke, coming to you live from the studio and running on caffeine, sugar, and lots and lots of dreams. Alright! Round Five! Let's go!

totes adorbs The new Alabriss bracket lineup kicked off with a match between the Darigan Citadel and the Lost Desert. The Minions fought valiantly, as they usually do, but came up short against the superior skills of the Mummies. One would think the Citadel would be discouraged, starting things off with a sweep after closing the previous round with one as well, but the general merriment coming from their corner of the slushie tents suggested otherwise!

Moving on. The second matchup featured lower-tier team Moltara and last year's winners, Haunted Woods. The Zombies appear to be suffering from the so-called "winner's curse", which sees winning teams immediately plummet in the standings the following year, and today wasn't any particular exception to their current streak. After sweeping the Magmas in the last match of the fourth round, the Magmas bit back, taking a win in Slushie Slinger and a draw in Yooyuball.

dust bunnies, baby! In the last match of the bracket, Kiko Lake and Meridell went head-to-head. Annnnd the Kikos did what they do so very well and swept the Knights like so many dust bunnies under the bed. What else is new, really?

That wraps up the Alabracket! Hooray! I shall now turn things over to the magnificent Midtime!

[An impromptu musical number begins, and goes on for some minutes. Unfortunately, no one who participated has any coherent recollection of the event afterwards, save for a general agreement that the glockenspiel was absolutely heavenly.]

[It can be safely presumed that the song segued smoothly into Midtime's report.]

- is fulfilled of the lively and liberated energy that characterises the Cup, that is communicated from person to person by every hand and every word, that fills us all up until we occasionally cannot help but let it pour from our lips. By this, I of course mean slushies. Now, let us commence with the results.

she has nice eyelashes The Virtupets Robots seem not at all disheartened by their losses against Kreludor and Tyrannia, having leapt right back into the fray to snatch the next game out of the Mermaids' hands. The Mermaids rallied as best they could, but unfortunately only managed to draw in two of the side events; the Robots' Yooyuball win was supplemented - as all things should be - by a steady flow of triumphant slushies and sugary foods.

They have nice eyelashes, too. I think. The Natives, too, have brought their best Yooyuball play to bear, leaving the Pirates high and dry with an exhilarating double score in the final minutes of the match. I pity the fan who didn't see that televised, and who is now watching this report to catch up on what they have missed, thus being a member of the majority group of our audience. On second thought - I actually thank you very much for your patronage, and think you are temperate and discerning. Ahem. This match was not a sweep, however: supporters of Krawk Island, undeterred by the direction the game was taking, gave all they had to bolster their team. They did not quite win back the match, but the fire of their fervour completely drowned out the cheers for the Natives, and forced a draw in the refreshments category.

Unlike the other two winners of this bracket, Team Tyrannia gave no quarter to the Ninjas, but began the round with another clean sweep. With the start of the new round, Tyrannia have stepped onto the podium at last; yet there are still four more matches in which they may be displaced. For Shenkuu, too, this is the final stretch - after the devastating losses they suffered in their previous bracket, will they be able to make a final push for success?

Instead of providing any answer for this perfectly fathomable question, I will direct you to Matt, who has the Vaeolus results. Matt, if you please - ?

[The feed cuts smartly to Matt.]

BROOMS Thanks Midtime! Let's get straight into the results! The fifth round of the Altador Cup started out with yet another set of sweeps in the Vaeolus Bracket. The underdogs of the bracket, Faerieland and Altador were swept by Kreludor and Terror Mountain respectively. The Moons' consistent scores of 8's were too much for the Faeries to handle. With a three point gap in Yooyuball and a five to six point gap in the side games, the Faeries struggled in today's matchup. Hopefully the Faeries will be able to regain their composure, because the worst is far from over. Up against Terror Mountain, the Faeries are sure to have a difficult time once again.

Bruce fan The results from the match between Altador and Terror Mountain were a little closer, however, the Chillers were still able to walk away with a commanding sweep. Known for their side game prowess, the Chillers dominated all three side games, ending the match with an impressive eight point gap in Make Some Noise. However, that was partly due to the Sun's strategy of focusing all their efforts in Yooyuball. Unfortunately, that strategy failed as the Suns were just shy of making the match end in a draw. With a few more minutes, the Suns would've been sure to even up the score. As for today's matchup, the Suns are up against the Rooligans who are sure to give them a challenge.

Roos score! In our last sweep of the bracket, Roo Island surprisingly took down Brightvale in today's match. Brightvale, who did very well during the fourth round, was helpless in today's match. The Rooligans asserted their dominance in the side games, and although the score in Yooyuball was close, it seems as if the Rooligans had control of this match from the very beginning! This is definitely not the same Brightvale team that we saw find great success in the fourth round. The Rooligans did well in buckling down in all aspects and getting revenge for their previous match at the start of the fourth round. Is this the start of a downhill spiral for the Wizards, especially as we near the end of the tournament? Or will the Wizards be able to overcome this hurdle and come back with even greater intensity?

Today's match between Maraqua and Mystery Island will certainly be one to watch! Although the Mermaids are predicted to have a slight advantage, anything goes as Yooyuball and Shootout Showdown will be a very close game, and will likely be decided by one or two points. The match between the Wizards and the Moons will also be very interesting! The Wizards have been performing very well in the last few days, and while the Moons are a podium contender this year, the Wizards might be able to pull off an upset. Will Brightvale be able to take Yooyuball from Kreludor? Find out in tomorrow's report!

That's all for now, this is Matt signing off.

Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily).

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Round Four Goes Out in Style

on Wednesday, June 24th 2015 @ 12:32 pm EST by Midtime

I BRING LIGHT [The lights are on in the studio, but no one appears to be around. The feed is silent apart from the buzz of fluorescent lighting somewhere overhead, and the ticking of a distant clock. After a while, an off-screen cameraperson is heard making a phone call, inquiring after the whereabouts of the reporters. They conclude their call, and silence falls once more. After another while, a door is heard opening and closing, and slow, shuffling footsteps approach.]

my bathrobe is actually red and fluffy [Brooke enters the view of the camera in spotted pajamas and slippers, hair a mess, a bathrobe hanging precariously off one shoulder. In one hand she clutches an oversized coffee mug; tucked under her other arm is a file folder marked "RESULTS", which she drops onto the table unceremoniously. She flops down at her seat, pulls a pair of glasses from her pocket and dons them, shuffles around at her notes, then finally looks at the camera.]

I swear, the Altador Cup gets longer every year. This is Brooke, The Daily Neo, Alabriss bracket, let's get rolling.

[She peers down at her notes, then wipes her glasses with her sleeve.]

clever girl Naturally, they gave me the one bracket that wasn't completely sweeps. The Mummies-Chillers match was a sweep, though, so there's that. It went to the Chillers. At this point I'm sure I'm supposed to employ some sort of clever wordplay regarding the heat of the Lost Desert and the cold of Terror Mountain, but... you guys are smart, you can come up with one of your own. I have faith in you.

spa-lit Moving on. Meridell took on Krawk Island, and it was a fairly well-split match. Insert here, if you will, some sort of joke about purple and orange. You know, the Split Paint Brush colour? Yeah. Anyway. The Knights won Yooyuball by a point, and Make Some Noise by a few more. The Pirates won Shootout Showdown by a point, and Slushie Slinger by one more. So that's fun.

floaty float And finally, Mystery Island went up against Faerieland, and the results were a little less balanced. The Natives took three of the four events by margins of two or more. The Faeries, however... floated? Over the heads of the... Natives? Or something? Anyway, they took Slushie Slinger. Good for them.

And that's my bracket done. Thank Fyora. Looks like I'm sending you guys to Midtime in the field now, and then Matt will be in to wrap things up. Later, viewers.

Mess [Brooke shuffles off again, leaving the results folder behind for Matt. Just as she reaches the edge of view, she trips, sending her coffee cup flying. There is much shouting and grumbling and general despair from off-camera until the feed cuts to Midtime.]

[Midtime is in a large, busy indoors area, giving directions to a young Acara.]

"-quantities of flying Snorkles you will shortly thereafter see on your right, or if it is early morning and they happen to be roosting, the word 'gullible' will be chalked on the ground in close proximity to the entrance. Or so I'm told, although I'm afraid I have never been there myself. Oh - I'm terribly sorry; it looks like my segment is on. I'm sure those instructions are accurate, though - off you go, little one!"

[The child, wearing a distinctly sceptical expression, walks away.]

"Ahem. This is Midtime of TDN, reporting the Minitheus bracket results from the highly popular Suae Quisque Fortunae Food Court, located just some distance from the Colosseum itself. As you can see, surrounding me are fans of quite a few of the different teams, taking refreshments and mingling with fellow Yooyuball enthusiasts after a long and enjoyable day. I, of course, am here in purely professional interest. Food vendors are professionals.

i really like this logo "As you can see from the crowd behind me, spirits are still high among fans of the Haunted Woods, who have not stopped cheering since seeing their team make their tempestuous first win of the season. Few teams have had as rough a time as the Zombies so far, so to be able to end Round Four on as high a note as this is a rare treat for them, to be savoured as much as possible. On a related note, I can't hear myself speak in this din. Er, have I mentioned the results themselves? I don't believe I have - dear viewers, the Haunted Woods' victory over the Magmas was a sweep, one of many to be had today, but easily most remarkable among them. Congratulations to the Zombies!

robo-eyrie "Team Virtupets took another pounding today at the hands of our champion competitors from Kreludor, who are less willing than ever to show laxness as their assays to overtake the Kikos become ever more urgent. Fans of the Robots are understandably disappointed, in view of the good fortune with which the round started. Of course, I did not exit the studio for no reason - let us go and get an interview with one of the fans."

Midtime: Hallo, there! I'm Midtime, reporter for TDN. Would I be correct in presuming you're a Virtupets supporter?

'You would be correct in presuming that.'

Midtime: In that case, may I have a moment of your time?

'Yes. Please accept the following: a moment of my time.'

Midtime: Ah, you're a natural robot 'pet, aren't you? Er - any way, how do you feel about your team's two consecutive losses? Has this -

'Weather balloon no. 887, viewed 06:54 NST, Blumaria. Blackcurrant Schooner Rentals, 38 Rue des Fripiers, Blumaria.'

Midtime: I see.

'These are memory associations; metaphors.'

Midtime: I am sure that, in different circumstances, I would understand precisely what you mean.

'Do you have any other requests?'

Midtime: Ah, yes. Moving on: what do you expect from your team in Round Five?

'A hat. I ordered it two days ago. It will have the team logo embroidered on the front.'

Midtime: Indeed! Well, that's that. Thank you for having this brief interview with us. I hope you enjoy the Cup!

"I think I handled that quite well, especially since, as previously stated, I could not hear a word of what was being said, and was only guessing at the responses. Excellent! Excellent.

tyrannian krawk "Now, the Suns were unfortunately unable to gather momentum from their victory against the Magmas; Team Tyrannia, holding true to their unfaltering season record, claimed all four wins of the match, leaving Altador in the dust. Despite their excellent performance, the Fossils have yet to make it into the top three. Perhaps in the final round they will find the handhold that will bear them to the top.

"That quite covers the Minitheus bracket. Matt has the scores from the Vaeolus, and I do not; so I will send you to him straight away."

[Before the feed switches, Midtime can be seen hurrying towards a large food stall.]

Thank you Midtime! We're back in the studio where I'll be reporting the results from the Vaeolus Bracket, kindly left behind by my co-host Brooke! If you're wondering where she is...well she's gone back home, probably to sleep on an uncomfortable recliner. She needs the sleep too, she looked crazy today, I mean didn't you see her hair and that bathrobe, and also...

[A cameraman coughs suddenly, and a faint "She's still here" can be heard. Matt can be seen turning red, slightly embarrassed, he takes out the results from the folder quickly and looks over them. Then looks back up at the camera.]

Innocent sweeping Disregard anything I have said within the last few minutes. Brooke, if you can hear me, you look fantastic like always! Anyways, moving on to the long-awaited results. There were a trifecta of sweeps today as three teams were able to end this fourth round with a dominant victory! Let's get right into the results.

Brightvale The Wizards finished the fourth round on a high note today as they were able to easily sweep the Minions. Although the match was predicted to be a bit closer in terms of results, the Wizards clearly dominated the Minions. This marks the second straight sweep for the Wizards, both of which occurred after their spectacular upset in the match against the Kikos. It seems as if the only place left to go for the Wizards is up! Will they be able to continue this performance during the fifth round?

SUCK THEM UP For the Kikos, today's matchup was just a normal day for them. Although the Mermaids were able to defeat the Minions the day before, the Kikos proved they're on a whole different level when compared to the Minions as they cleanly swept the Mermaids. "Poke" Cellers and his team's offense was too much for the Mermaids to handle as the score widened as the game went on. In the end, Elon, like many other teams the Kikos have faced previously, were just overwhelmed by the small but powerful Kikos.

Roo Shield Wrapping up the Vaeolus Bracket, Shenkuu and Roo Island went head to head, and the Ninjas were unable to prevent the Rooligans from sweeping them. Although the results were very close, the Ninjas weren't able to make a strong push in any of the games to prevent a complete sweep. Roo Island will most likely finish second in the bracket, just behind Kiko Lake. Will the Rooligans be able to finish in the upper tiers once again and prove that last year's performance was only a fluke?

The last round of the Altador Cup is fast approaching, and many teams will be looking to make their final pushes within the next week. But as for now, we have a bye day to enjoy. This is Matt, signing off.

Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily).

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Desert Dynamos Fight Fearless Faeries to Draw

on Tuesday, June 23rd 2015 @ 12:35 pm EST by Midtime

It's that time again, people! So, sit on down and get settled, grab some popcorn and your 4D goggles, and get ready for the AC X report! This is Brooke, reporting from The Daily Neopets' studio. The whole team is back and ready to give you the facts. Onward, to the Alabracket!

Happy Faerie Elephante Faerieland started us off today with an impressive (for them) showing against the Lost Desert. The Mummies have stood tall against all but the strongest, top-tier teams this year, and they showed their prowess in Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown. But when it came to the Yooyuball field, the Faeries gave them a run for their money, forcing a draw. Spurred by this encouraging result, the Faeries went on to snatch a surprising win in the slushie tents! This is their first win and best overall day of the bracket so far.

Happy Snowman Next up, the Chillers and the Pirates clashed on the field. The brooms were back, if in smaller number, as Terror Mountain quite thoroughly swept Krawk Island with reckless abandon! The Chillers have been rather quiet this year, but they've also kind of been kicking butt, and currently sit in fifth place, tantalizingly close to a coveted podium spot. The Pirates, meanwhile, are tied with the Darigan Citadel in eighth, which is a really weird word to see in print.

Slushie Slingerrrrr Closing out the Alabriss bracket was the match between Mystery Island and Meridell. The fans of the Knights ran roughshod over those of the Natives, winning Make Some Noise by a landslide. They took Slushie Slinger as well, but were less fortunate in the remaining two events, where the Natives pulled off a tie in each.

Annnd that's it for the Alabriss bracket! I'll turn things over to Midtime for the Minitheus. How are things with you, Midtime?

[Midtime smiles politely, then holds the smile rigid for a few seconds, apparently panicking.]

Um, yes! That is to say, perfectly sanguine. Quite lackadaisical. Ahem.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN Let us then wend our way into the scintillatingly discombobulated Minitheus parenthesis. The matches hereto have not been to floccinaucinihilipilificate at, and these are no different! They have been infernal - incinerating - highly diabatic! Oyez! The news to be anon delivered will have all the discombobulating impact of an iron stang or miraculously acierated newspaper roll! It will be more than copacetic, the antipode of defenestrable, positively individual! It will be as remarkable as the name of the famous hill Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaur- wait. Did I use 'discombobulate' twice? I think I did! Twice in three sentences, no less. Good grief. Expanding my vocabulary isn't as useful as I thought it would be.

smoky burny Recovering gracefully from their eclipse at the hands of Team Kreludor, the Suns controlled the Yooyuball field today to great effect, beating the Magmas twofold in the main event, and claiming the shootouts for themselves as well. Moltara's accomplishments were all in the grandstand: the turnout among their supporters was extraordinary, carrying them to victory in the cheering and slushie categories. The captains of the two teams, Remis and Beign, exchanged cordial greetings during the post-match formalities, a sharp contrast to the tension of the game itself. Although it would of course be intrusive to pry into their personal affairs without a professional hand involved, it is well-known that they are quite closely acquainted, having been seen with each other several evenings in the days leading up to the Cup; that they have a common interest in hair styling, which they engage in together at least every other month; that Beign has a rice husk stuck just behind his left canine, not visible to frontal photographs; and that both of them share a mysterious aversion to visible surveillance cameras, at least when they are - oh, I'm rambling! I'd better not do that; the last time it happened my supervisor picked up my bugging remote from my jacket pocket, dropped it on the floor, and ground it thoroughly to pieces with the point of their heel in a most unfortunate bout of absent-mindedness. I can't seem to get my hands on a replacement. On to the next matchup, then!

moooooon The Zombies were faced with another rough match today: the Moons, as light on their feet as always, withheld no display of prowess against them, and try as they might, the Woods team stood little chance. Fans of the Moons have been far more than excited this year to see their favourites climbing back to the top - something which their extraordinary Make Some Noise score might well attest to - and if they continue with these sweeps, they may yet see an opportunity to close that three-point gap and claim first place from the powerhouse that is Kiko Lake. The Zombies, in the meantime, would be the last to resign themselves to the legendary Cup Curse. As captain Krell Vitor said to interviewers after today's match ended, "You're ignoring one fact: we have fought through this before. This time we will be faster."

Tyrannia Logo whoooo The Fossils, not to be outdone by the team that battled them to a perfect draw at the beginning of this round, put a neat stop to the Robots' promising Round Four record with yet another devastating sweep. This is a heavy blow for the Robots, who have been striving to climb out of the lower half of the rankings as the final week of the season approaches - but then, they are no strangers to heavy blows. Perhaps they will rebound tomorrow; perhaps their finishing place will be something to cheer about, after all.

With the Minitheus bracket outcomes of the day thus tintinnabulated, or at least tabulated, it is about the proper time to put you through to Matt for the concluding set of results. Matt?

[The feed switches to Matt, but only after about a quarter of a minute. He is already talking when it does.]

Angry Kiko -fter their rude wake up call in the match against Brightvale, the Kikos took no guff as they showed spectators that they are determined to win this year's Cup. The Kikos have dropped the playful attitude and unfortunately, the Rooligans were on the receiving end of this beatdown today. The Rooligans' push in Yooyuball was not enough today as the Kikos dominated all of the games with wide gaps. With only a few more days until the fourth round ends, the Kikos will be looking to solidify their position as the frontrunner to win the tournament.

Broom Brightvale produced results yet again in today's matchup against the Ninjas. Although the Ninjas gave their best effort, they couldn't prevent the Wizards from sweeping them. The Wizards have been doing well in the fourth bracket, stopping the Kikos' winning streak while also defeating the Ninjas and the Mermaids. It's a surprise to many that the Wizards are still ranked sixth place in the bracket despite accomplishing these amazing feats. Brightvale only has one more day before the bracket ends. Will they be able to make a push to rise in the rankings?

WAVEWrapping up the results of the Vaeolus Bracket today, the battle between sky and sea ended in an overwhelming victory for the Mermaids. Although the Minions fought valiantly, the Mermaids proved they had the superior yooyu-slinging skills and fan base in today's matchup taking victories in Yooyuball, Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown. The Minions were barely able to escape a sweep by drawing with the Mermaids in Slushie Slinger. Will the Mermaids be able to overtake the Minions in the bracket standings?

Brightvale Now let's move on to our interesting matches for the day. Darigan Citadel and Brightvale will be facing off against each other for the first time in this year's Cup. It is sure to be a close one as both teams are expected to take victories in two games apiece! The Wizards were able to end the Kikos' winning streak. Will they continue to surprise spectators?

Moltara Matches between the underdogs of the tournament will be occurring in today's matches. Faerieland and Mystery Island as well as Haunted Woods and Moltara will all be fighting to rise from the bottom of the pack. Mystery Island and Moltara are predicted to win in their respective matchups, but will the unwavering spirit of the Faeries and the Zombies be enough to overcome these two teams?

Terror Mountain In our last matchup, the surprising upper tier teams of this tournament will be going head to head today as well. Both Lost Desert and Terror Mountain tied for thirteenth place in last year's Cup, and now they have a fighting chance to be on the podium. Although Terror Mountain is predicted to win the overall match, the Mummies will definitely put up a strong fight.

That wraps up today's report! We'll see you all tomorrow for the final results of the fourth round! This is Matt, signing off.

Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily).

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