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Expect lots of updates since it's game time now! The Daily Neopets is bringing you the best Altador Cup coverage available.

Mouseykins Captured! Part 3

on Friday, August 15th 2014 @ 5:13 pm EST by Mouseykins

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Mouseykins here, on location in Altador and not in a holding cell! Mighty came back a few days ago with some delightful news. It took him a little longer to return this time than we had anticipated. Once he got to The Daily Neopets Coverage Headquarters, Jerry was there talking to one of the head guards about my release.

WinnerSeeing as how the Altador Cup has been over for several weeks now, Jerry was petitioning to have me released. After several days of negotiations with the guards, he had a solution to my problem. This comes as a bit of a surprise to me; I was almost certain I would have to break some major laws and have to go into hiding in order to get out of here. Thankfully this was not the case!

MightyBefore I divulge this information I want to reveal what would have been my escape plan. While Mighty was gone I heard the guards discussing what to do with me. I overheard their plan to move me to a different location at the end of the week. The guards would be armed, but only three of them would be escorting me. After some careful consideration I decided that this would be the best time to make my escape. They would be caught unaware and I'm sure I could overpower them enough to get away and hide somewhere. Mighty would be hiding in my pocket and once I had gotten away and was in a safe place, he would go back to Jerry and arrange for me to be picked up and taken to a secured, hidden location where I would be safe. This plan had many variables and I wasn't feeling all that confident in its success, but at the time it was my only option and I had to stay positive that it would work and I would be free.

MightyUpon Mighty's return he filled me in on the solution Jerry had made. In order to get released, I will have to pay for my crimes against the two guards. I guess the guards were some tough bargainers and my freedom is really going to cost me - 8 million Neopoints to be exact. While making this deal, Jerry knew how much I could afford and that 8 million was cutting it close to my account's total balance. I was shocked but thankful! I could buy my freedom and not have to break any more laws and upset the guards anymore than I already had.

A couple hours after Mighty returned to me and revealed the plan, the head guard came to discuss the matter with me. He said I would be released the next day as soon as the 8 million Neopoints were transferred to the Altador Colosseum Security Account. Once the funds were there, I would be escorted upstairs to Coverage Headquarters where Jerry would be waiting for me. The guard also stressed that I will not be allowed back in Altador without being escorted by a guard at all times. This could make future interviews a little challenging, but right now all I cared about was being free and able to go home.

MightyAs soon as the head guard had confirmation that I had paid my fine, he and two other guards escorted me upstairs. Mighty hid in my pocket so he could come with me. It seems I've made quite a good friend in this little Mootix. Jerry greeted me and assured the guards that we would be leaving Altador at the end of the day. A single guard remained outside the door waiting to escort us to the gates and send us on our way. They were not taking any chances with me causing any more trouble and being a nuisance.

After this report is out, I'll be on my way home to relax and then start working on rebuilding my bank account.

Reporting live from The Daily Neopets Coverage Headquarters, this is Mouseykins.

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Mouseykins Captured! Part 2

on Thursday, July 24th 2014 @ 5:10 pm EST by Mouseykins

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This is Mouseykins, still on location in my Altador holding cell. My first message was successfully delivered by my newest friend, Mighty the Mootix. I shall continue to report on the events of my capture.

This one is hotter than what I was servedAfter Mighty left, I slept and didn't wake up until the sun was starting to rise in the sky. The guards haven't brought any food to me yet and I was famished. I figured I'd call for the guards, "Hello! Can you hear me? I'd like to get something to eat. I haven't eaten anything since yesterday." I waited for a response but none came. Instead a guard came to my cell with a tray of food and slid it under the door without saying a word. As the guard walked off I picked up the tray and set it on the cot. Taking off the lid, I was hoping for something decent to eat. Instead I found a lump of Cinnamon Raisin Oatmeal, a slice of cold buttered toast and a glass of Apple Juice. The food looked very unappetizing and I was not impressed. I'll refuse even a good bowl of oatmeal. Left with no other choice, I ate what I was given. After eating and twiddling my thumbs with nothing better to do, I went back to sleep. Hopefully Mighty will be back soon.

Even Jerry can't help me nowI'm not sure how long I slept for, but Mighty still hadn't returned. I was starting to get a little worried for him. Staring at the stone ceiling, I continued to wait for Mighty. Several hours later I heard the familiar squeak of Mighty's voice. He had returned a few minutes ago and noticed that I was asleep and woke me up right away. Mighty informed me that he was able to deliver my message to Jerry. He explained that it took him a little longer to return than expected because he had to wait for a response. I untied the letter from his back and began reading it.

Dear Mouseykins,
I have received your message and by the time you're reading this, it will have been published. You stated in your note that you were requesting help getting out of this predicament you caused. I'm sorry to say, but there is nothing I can do. Our hands are tied over here. We are constantly being watched by the guards and have even had them search the office. They left quite a mess too. I suspect they're keeping an eye on us to make sure we don't help you escape. I wish there was more I could do, but for now you're on your own.

Mighty has told me that he will continue to serve as a messenger between us. Please keep communicating with me so I know you're alright. I have given Mighty strict instructions to only show himself to me. If you continue sending me story pieces I will have them published.

Best of Luck,

Freezable OffencesAfter reading Jerry's letter, I took a deep breath. I was a little disappointed that my colleagues are unable to help me right now. Maybe I shouldn't have frozen the guards last year with my Freeze Ray. But with their strict security not letting press in, they were kind of asking for it. I guess I'll see if Mighty can help me escape when the time comes. For now I guess I'll be waiting patiently for the perfect opportunity.

Once again I have tied this report onto Mighty's back for delivery up to coverage headquarters. After he leaves I guess I'll get some rest and hopefully get a few bright ideas.

This is Mouseykins for The Daily Neopets putting her pen down to dream up a foolproof plan.

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The Final Sweep: Haunted Woods Wins the Cup!

on Thursday, July 3rd 2014 @ 12:02 am EST by Nellethiel

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Good morning, sports fans! This is Brooke, proudly welcoming you to the last day of The Daily Neopets' Altador Cup coverage. It's been quite the interesting month, what with the violence and the subterfuge, the rocks and the cardboard cutouts... and the sports, of course! Before we congratulate the winners, let's see how things went for everyone on the last day of play.

GO KIKO LAKE yooyu Monday's results featured a record number of sweeps: eight out of nine match-ups! The sweeps started in the Alabriss Bracket, where Kiko Lake really gave it their all against the Lost Desert. The Kikos pulled off their highest scores of the season at the last minute, giving them seven- and eight-point wins in Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown. The Kikos' scores put them in sixth, just shy of the fourth-place tie, and the Mummies' in sixteenth, just short of the thirteenth-place tie.

moltara acara The Magmas went up against the Minions on Monday, and, unsurprisingly, took their third sweep in as many days. Moltara exhibited a certain weakness in Yooyuball this year, but while this was their closest game with the Darigan Citadel, they still managed to pull ahead by a point. The side events were all taken by quite a few points. The Magmas took us all by surprise this year, rocketing to the podium after several years at the bottom of the heap. They took third place this year by an impressive margin, leaving Darigan Citadel behind them and tied for fourth.

scary haunted woods werewolf of doom In the last match of the Alabriss Bracket, Meridell took on the Haunted Woods. The Zombies predictably wiped the floor with the Knights, who put up slightly higher-than-average scores, but were ultimately unable to put a dent in the armor of the Altador Cup's new giants. After last year's ninth-place finish, the Zombies improved leaps and bounds to become the first ever repeat-winners of the coveted cup. Meridell landed in ninth place this year, which is a bit of a drop from last year, but still a modest sh-

[A stream of dust pours from the ceiling and onto the desk. Brooke examines the pile, examines the ceiling, shrugs, and brushes the dust from the desk.]

Showing. Next up, the Minitheus Bracket!

i just really like tyrannia's logo okay Maraqua and Tyrannia kicked things off with a close and heated battle on the Yooyuball field. While the Fossils' scores were a smidge lower on Monday than their average, the Mermaids' were right in line with their average, allowing the Fossils' to take the sweep. It's been a hard year for Maraqua, despite their Centre Forward, Elon Hughlis, being the second best goal scorer overall. Their large size proved to be something of a downfall for them, pulling them into twelfth place in the final standings. Meanwhile, last year's victors, Tyrannia, netted themselves a fourth-place tie, avoiding the embarrassment of failing hard right after winning big.

*snicker* zupenfarb The Pirates met the Robots in our next match, and bravely faced their second sweeping in as many days. Krawk Island performed as well as could be expected, but were no match for Virtupets' consistently higher scores. The Pirates took eight place this year, which is their lowest position to date, but their Goalkeeper, Garven Hale, assured us that they've learned a lot this year and will be a force to be reckoned with next season. The Robots had us all intimidated from the get-go, pulling off an impressive ten straight matches without so much as a single draw. They weren't swept once, and their consistent strength carried them to a solid second-place victory.

team sass Shenkuu and Mystery Island went head-to-head on Monday in the only matchup that wasn't a complete sweep. The Natives may have bested the Ninjas soundly in Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown, but Shenkuu crept up on Mystery Island for a very close game on the Yooyuball field, and rallied for a draw in Slushie Slinger. Shenkuu's history in the AC has been a mixed bag of positions, and this year placed them in the second-lowest spot they've held yet. They landed right in the middle of a cushy three-way tie for thirteenth. The Natives experienced a significant drop in ranks last year, and are slowly working their way back up. They climbed four places up from last year's showing to land in eleventh.

Finally, let's look at the results of th-

dust... yup [Several pieces of debris fall from the ceiling now, along with a significantly larger stream of dust than before. Brooke's notes are covered, and she is temporarily obscured from view by clouds of white dust. She coughs and flutters her papers, dispelling some of the dust. She peers up at the ceiling, irritated, then shakes her head and clears her throat.]

[a bit hoarsely] How rude! I hope the ceiling can keep itself together until I finish the Vaeolus Bracket!

kreludor. seriously. The Moons swept the Chillers in a series of rather close events, though by smaller margins than last time the teams met. Terror Mountain closed out the season with three sweeps in a row, but managed to get in on the three-way tie for thirteenth with Shenkuu and Roo Island. Both Terror Mountain and Kreludor tied with their own record-lowest positions, as Kreludor cruised in at seventh place, just as they did last year.

rooligan faerie-go-round The Rooligans bounced all over the Faeries in their second and last meeting. Roo Island started things off with a hat-trick of losses against some very powerful teams, but their consistency paid off in Monday's match against Faerieland. Overall the Roos wound up in a three-way tie for thirteenth place, a bit disappointing after last year's spot on the podium. The Faeries managed, once again, to avoid placing dead last, edging out the Suns by just a few points for seventeenth place.

brightvale bunch And last but not least, (except... technically they are...) Altador came up against Brightvale. Brightvale lucked out with three sweeps this bracket, after only one other sweep in the rest of the season. Over the last few years, the Wizards have been slowly making their way up from their last-place finish, and finished off this year in tenth place. The Suns experienced a startling plummet to the bottom of the pile after their astonishing second-place finish last year. They've definitely proven they can surprise us, so who knows what will happen next year?

haunted woods winners In both summary and conclusion, we would like to congratulate the winners: the Haunted Woods Zombies have won Altador Cup IX! This officially makes them the only team to win the Cup more than once. The Virtupets Robots took second place, and the Moltaran Magmas took third. Congratulations to all the teams on their hard work, and congratulations to each and every one of you who supported your team with your own time and effort!

[Orange and black confetti bursts from offscreen, as the rest of the TDN AC coverage team, minus Austin, joins Brooke in front of the camera, brooms in hand.]

On behalf of myself, Lydia, Midtime, Matt, Hanna, Livvy, LivCat, Nadia, the camerapeople, the interns, our savagely underpaid maintenance staff, and the whole crew here at The Daily Neopets, we would like to thank you for choosing us for your Altador Cup IX coverage. It's been an honour to bring you complete, up-to-date, and interesting news! Thanking you again, this is Brooke, signi-

i searched steam but NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW except you, Jasper [There is a great rumbling from above, and the staff look up as one. The ceiling collapses down onto their heads, filling the room with heavy dust. The camera recalibrates, and the smoke begins to clear. In the middle of the room, in the very center of the devastation, stands a familiar, mustachioed figure.]

"Hey guys, what did I miss?"

[There is a collective groan. "AUSTIN!"]

[The screen fades to black.]

To view the official standings, claim your trophy, and browse the prize shop, click here!

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Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily).


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Rocks, Weather Mark Penultimate Match of AC IX

on Monday, June 30th 2014 @ 1:34 pm EST by Midtime

Greetings, viewers, and welcome to our report! This is Midtime, at the TDN newsroom, excited to bring you today's results, unhindered by random rocks, interpersonal feuds, or large amounts of random rocks travelling at high speed.

[A large stone flies past the reporter, hitting the desk with a crash.]

Alabriss! As you can clearly see. I'll start off with the Alabriss Bracket, in which we see at least one surprising result!

The Zombies, still first in the standings, cleanly outdid the Minions on the field and swept them by large margins in the side games. Though Darigan Citadel have been performing remarkably well, it seems there are few teams that can stand up to the Zombies at all at this stage, and with only one day left, their position as champions is all but certain.

Moltara seem to be back on their feet, putting on a strong performance in the side games after seeming momentarily to lag behind in the last match. The Magmas' strong defence left the Kikos little opportunity for one of their famous upsets, and the game ended conclusively in their favour. Nonetheless, fans still hope to see Kiko Lake go out with a bang in the final match of the round.

That's a wrap! The Knights came back from their near-sweep at the hands of the Minions with a total sweep against the Mummies, including an exciting 6-5 victory in Yooyuball. Many attest that Team Meridell has seen a significant improvement in performance over the course of the Cup, and after some hard matches against high-tier opponents like Moltara and Darigan Citadel, this is a welcome opportunity to demonstrate their abilities. Captain "Wizard" Windelle of Meridell remarked: "I would like to give Leera Heggle my gratitude for not mentioning my unsportsmanly attempts to kick a Yooyu into his face, all six of which failed miserably". He went on, in his usual fashion, to thank the Lost Desert team for the match.

I'll pass the report on to Hanna, who is in the field with the Minitheus Bracket results.

[Another rock comes flying past. Midtime ducks.]

Ah, can some one help me clear up the pile of rocks in the corner?

"Thanks, Midtime. Hanna here, bringing you today's results from the Minitheus Bracket!

And there was much rejoicing. Maraqua bumped heads with Shenkuu today. As Shenkuu's biggest weakness was Yooyuball, they made up for it with ninja-like moves in the side events. Shenkuu took the majority of wins today, side-sweeping the Mermaids, and came extremely close to snatching their first sweep since the end of Round One. With Shenkuu and Maraqua hovering around 12th place, this round will no doubt shake up the final standings. Only time will tell who comes out on the top!

Tyrannia and and Krawk Island are my two favorite teams, and being as close to the end of the Cup as it is, this game was especially exciting for me. I wish I could say Tyrannia pulverised the Pirates today, but the Yooyuball and Slushie Slinger matches were extremely close. For a while, it looked like Krawk Island was going to take the Yooyuball win but with a minute left in the game, and the Pirates exhausted from keeping Tyrannia's offence at bay, the Fossils did manage to slip in two more goals, taking the wins.

The results of today's match between Virtupets and Mystery Island shouldn't come as too big of a surprise for anyone, especially since Mystery Island hasn't lived up to their fans' expectations this year. Virtupets was basically a feather duster and Mystery Island, well, a dust bunny in their way. The biggest question on everyone's mind is whether or not Virtupets will catch up to Team Haunted Woods, which is currently the only team standing in their way to first place and a shiny gold trophy. Virtupets and Haunted Woods fans cling to the edge of their seats in anticipation of tomorrow's final game.

Now onto Brooke with the weather -- Vaeolus Bracket!"

With a side of confused Kacheek Thank you, Hanna! I suppose I could present some weather, though I'm not sure I'm qualified. Erm... it was sort of breezy today. Not enough to have an effect on Yooyus, or anything. Um. Tomorrow it... might rain? Or it might not. We have umbrellas, so...

[A nervous-looking crew member in a headset approaches and whispers in Brooke's ear, before scurrying back offscreen. Brooke blushes slightly.]

Isn't it cute? I have just received an important message from my boss. She apparently said, and I quote, "GET ON WITH IT," followed by some things I'm pretty sure I'm not allowed to say on camera. I will therefore bring you the results of the Vaeolus Bracket without further delay.

The Suns and the Moons started things off yesterday with a vicious battle on the Yooyuball field. Altador performed very well, and were defeated by only a single point. Encouraged by the close match, the Suns pulled off a win in the slushie tents. Kreludor quickly rallied, however, taking Shootout Showdown and Make Some Noise by rather larger margins. Altador seems more or less resigned to their last-place finish this year, but they pulled off some pretty interesting wins, and have learned a few things for next year.

Terror Mountain and Roo Island are caught in the middle of a three-way tie for thirteenth, but the Rooligans were having no part of any draws in yesterday's match. Though the events were close, Roo Island swept the Chillers with reckless abandon, hoping to snag a last-minute advancement in the standings. The Rooligans certainly have improved since the last time they met the Chillers on the field!

In the last match of the bracket, on the penultimate day of play, the Brightvale Wizards earned themselves their third sweep. Faerieland put up a reasonably good fight, but just couldn't quite hold their own against the Wizards. They've managed to stay out of last place overall, however, with a few well-placed upsets.

Today's the last day of play, and we've got our eye on some potentially fascinating matches. Shenkuu and Mystery Island will have us all on the edge of our seats, as they're fairly evenly matched. As the Magmas face the Minions, there's the potential for a sweep, but also a very real possibility that they may draw on the Yooyuball field. Stay on your toes for upsets and surprises today as we wrap things up!

On behalf of the whole reporting team here at The Daily Neopets, thank you for joining us! We'll see you tomorrow, one last time. This is Brooke... [sniffle] ...signing off.

[Brooke pulls a large box of tissues from beneath her desk and blows her nose loudly before the screen cuts to black.]

Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily).

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Haunted Woods Set to Take Victory, Blue Techo Gurgles

on Sunday, June 29th 2014 @ 11:50 am EST by Midtime

Good morning, Neopians everywhere! This is Brooke, reporting from the TDN newsroom, and speaking rather more softly than usual because I have a tremendous headache, for some reason. Matt and I have been asked to "bury the hatchet", so for the moment, we've called a cease-fire. Besides, those were my best heels and the cleaning crew doesn't know where they ended up!

So let's start things off with the Alabriss Bracket.

haunted woods logo Haunted Woods, the front-runners for the cup, and Kiko Lake started things off yesterday. Kiko Lake has been putting up relatively low scores this year, and while the Zombies' scores were quite a bit lower than usual, the Kikos were just no competition. The Zombies are feeling confident, and rightfully so, as they're basically shoo-ins for the podium at this point, and it certainly can't have hurt their egos to have swept the Kikos in all four events. Kiko Lake, however, could very well pull ahead into fourth if they play their cards right.

CHARRRRGE Gosh i'm funny The Darigan Citadel has been doing very well over the last couple of weeks, (and indeed, over the whole month, as they're currently tied for fourth!) and today was no exception. They defeated Meridell in three of four events. The Knights, however, refused to accept total defeat, charging in for a draw on the Yooyuball field. (See what I did there? They charged because they're Knights? And that's what... knights... do? *ahem*) They definitely did better against the Minions this time around! Hopefully they can hold their position without being knocked back any further.

acara from moltara In our final match of the bracket, the Lost Desert took on Moltara. Lost Desert has had some hard luck this bracket, facing some of the giants of the Yooyuball field, and they stood no chance against the Magmas. Moltara has had a great year, and their position on the podium is all but certain. Their progress this season has definitely provided an inspiring example of what perseverance can do!

So I guess, since he's here, I'll pass things over to Matt, who's been giving me the stink-eye for the last ten minutes. Matt?

[Matt stops giving Brooke the stink-eye.]

Thanks, Brooke. This is Matt, reporting live from the TDN newsroom. I've recovered after that head injury that I sustained last night. After being pressured from Lydia to cease the madness, Brooke and I have decided to try and play nice for the next few days. Let's hope this'll please Lydia so she'll get off our backs for a while, but for now we take a look at the results from the Minitheus Bracket!

YAYYYYYY Tyrannia and Virtupets had a relatively easy time taking down Mystery Island and Shenkuu today respectively. The Natives and the Ninjas both suffered an incessant barrage of attacks, the offence of the other teams far superior to the defense of Mystery Island and Shenkuu. The unrelenting speed in slinging slushies and shooting penalty goals, as well as the booming cheers that could be heard from miles away, all contributed to their downfall. Both the Fossils and the Robots are currently enjoying their current positions in their bracket and in the overall standings, and they are most likely going to remain that way, unless a drastic event occurs.

dude from krawk island For the last matchup of the Minitheus Bracket, Krawk Island and Maraqua went head on today. The Pirates' mercurial gameplay style helped them take victories in Yooyuball and Shootout Showdown today, the Pirates coming up with flexible strategies that were able to net them the wins. Maraqua was able to see through them in Slushie Slinger, as the Mermaids snagged the win, shutting the Pirates out. Fans of Maraqua were also able to take the win in Make Some Noise today, the fans cheering loud enough to drown out the Pirates. Get it? No? Come on! It's a better pun than what Brooke had!

[A faint "Play nice!" is heard in the background. Matt makes a slight pouty face before concluding the Minitheus Bracket.]

Anyways, that wraps up the Minitheus Bracket! Let's hand the bracket over to Midtime!

[Cut to the Colosseum. Slushie tents are set up in the background.]

"Er, no, thank you - both my hands are full. Hm? Oh! Right.

"The Vaeolus Bracket has surprised us with its results, and the crowds are still ablaze with seasonal fervour. I will describe them.

happy blums "The ever-enthusiastic Rooligans have had another good day, this time tying with the struggling, but still formidable, Team Kreludor. They also went on to top the Moons in all three side events, resulting in an all-around win. The draw, like most, was much talked about among the fans of both teams; although Kreludor's scores have fallen recently, they remain at seventh in the standings, and Roo Island's feat was nothing to scoff at. As usual, festivities for Rooligan fans seem set to continue for some time.

searched for Slushie Tent got Slushie Tentacles. close enough. "Brightvale took up the broom with a vengeance, sweeping Terror Mountain with record scores. While the Wizards were forecasted to win the match, their performance across the board, and especially their final shootout score and slushie ratings, are a pleasant surprise to all Brightvale fans. While people are divided over the exact cause of their success on the field, it could be fairly said that their slushies speak for themselves, as people are still flocking to the tents for a taste.

altador logo crest thing "In a near-perfect reversal of their last encounter, Altador broke through the clouds to side-sweep Faerieland today, narrowly besting their scores in all three events. An exciting Yooyuball match, meanwhile, ended in a draw, keeping Altador from what would have been its first sweep. Still, this is Altador's first unambiguous victory, and fans are elated at their success. Team captain "Trapper" Remis addressed the team's supporters in an interview, thanking them for their dedication.

"That's all for the Vaeolus Bracket. We shall now turn our attention to the day ahead. We ask you to pay particular attention to the Haunted Woods matchup versus Darigan Citadel, as performance analysis has uncovered the possibility that the Minions may take a game from them. Similarly, the tenacious members of team Kiko Lake will give Moltara a run for their money in the main events. The Ninjas, meanwhile, will attempt to make headway against the Mermaids, recently unpredictable in their scores.

"Naturally, we at TDN will be first with the results! Good luck to all teams. This is Midtime, reporting for The Daily Neopets, signing off."

Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily).

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Knights March to Victory in Moltara Heat

on Saturday, June 28th 2014 @ 11:13 am EST by Midtime

Good morning, fans! This is Brooke, welcoming you once again to The Daily Neopets' Altador Cup coverage. And this time, I'm actually coming to you from inside the newsroom! At the desk, and everything! We've got another day of interesting results to show you, so let's get started with the Alab-

[Matt storms into the newsroom on crutches, and walks over to Brooke at a surprisingly quick pace.]

Oh, Matt! You're bac-

deadly rock in its natural environment [Matt proceeds to lift one of his crutches and push Brooke off her seat. She flails wildly, hitting her head on a conveniently placed rock. Matt drags her limp body out of the newsroom. A distant thud can be heard and Matt reappears in view of the cameras moments after.]

I'll be taking over the results of the Alabriss Bracket for my lovely co-anchor Brooke, as she seems to be having difficulty maintaining a state of consciousness at the moment. The Alabriss Bracket was host to some fierce albeit one-sided competition today, as the powerhouse teams of the bracket showed once again why they're at the top of the pack!

darigan citadel logo The Citadel and the Kikos met on the Yooyuball fields once again in an epic match. The Kikos' proficiency in handling Yooyus showed today, as they put up close scores in Yooyuball and Shootout Showdown. The Citadel, coming off their impressive victory against Lost Desert with record scores of 9 and 10 in Slushie Slinger and Make Some Noise respectively, clearly dominated today's matchup and were able to cleanly sweep the Kikos on all fronts.

cup Haunted Woods, the one team almost certainly bound for victory this year, faced off against the Mummies today. Lost Desert put up a valiant effort in today's match; however, the Zombies inevitably swept them, and look to still be heading towards victory. If the Zombies are able to maintain this level of play consistently over the upcoming matches, they'll be guaranteed the Cup.

goatee on fire The Knights and the Magmas clashed on the Yooyuball field today. It was a fierce game, both teams holding their own. The Knights were able to manage a draw in Yooyuball with Moltara today, focusing on a game that the Moltarans have a noticeable weakness in. With the Knights' attention on Yooyuball, Moltara was easily able to side-sweep the Knights. The Knights currently stand in 5th place in the Alabriss Bracket, and 9th place overall. They're having some noticeable trouble with this bracket, and seem to be running out of steam. If they can't pick up their slack, they're going to end up in 9th overall, a situation the Knights won't be happy to see.

Anyways, that wraps up the matches in the Alabriss Bracket. Now, let's turn our attention over to the Minitheus Bracket, where the Mermaids were able to pull off a surprising swe-

wish they had them in black [A high-heel shoe comes flying from just out of shot and clocks Matt squarely in the head. He topples from the chair, his crutches flying rather comically into the air. Brooke walks casually back in front of the camera, adjusts her glasses, and takes her chair back.]

[Dead-pan.] Oops. How clumsy of me.

It would appear that my dear colleague has... erm... fallen down on the job. So I'll be taking the results of the Minitheus Bracket.

virtupets logo Last year's victors were swept in our first match, as Virtupets took on Tyrannia. The Fossils' scores have been somewhat erratic this year, and the Robots managed to catch them on a low day, beating them by a wide margin in all events. It looks like Tyrannia will be forced off the podium this year, and Virtupets has a secure place on it. But there's always room for surprises in the final days of the Cup!

pirates vs ninjas Next up, the Pirates met the Ninjas on the field of (yooyu)battle, and found themselves well-matched. Their game on the field ended in a draw, as did their Slushie Sling-off. They split the remaining events, with very close scores. Krawk Island is currently in eighth place; with the right scores, they could pull ahead of Kreludor, but they could just as easily slide behind Meridell. Time will tell!

make some noise logo In a confidence boosting match against Mystery Island, Maraqua summoned up the strength for their third sweep of the year. The Mermaids rallied for an epic eleven points in Make Some Noise, and their scores in the other games were high as well. The Natives' scores have dropped somewhat of late, and in the end it may cost them some positions before the Cup is over. Maraqua's success has pulled them out of the three-way tie and put them solidly in thirteenth. They may yet pull ahead of Roo Island for twelfth before the end.

Now, seeing as how Matt's still... less than conscious, I think I'll just move right on to the Vaeolus Bracket. The Altador Suns ma-

[A door opens in the background and Brooke is suddenly buried under an avalanche of cardboard rock cutouts. A few minutes pass while cleaning staff busily clear it away, leaving nothing behind.]

[Midtime enters shortly after.]

Is any one in here? No? That's strange. I was told to come up here and do the Vaeolus Bracket because we were short-staffed...

[He hurries over to the desk and leafs through a stack of papers.]

Ah, here we go. Greetings, every one. Interesting results in the Vaeolus Bracket today, aren't they? Let's start off.

again with the slushies In a break from the ninth Cup's broom-infested quotidian, Altador's score in Slushie Slinger leaped to a surprising seven in their match against Roo Island. While Altador have been known to pull off the occasional upset, their performance today far exceeded any other they have given this year. Despite the shock of the occurrence, the Suns' Yooyuball performance did not improve as drastically as their slushie formulae, and Team Roo Island, unshaken, took the rest of the events.

[Some one whispers something to him.]

Yes? Yes, I am aware that the slushie-making process involves stirring. What has that got to do with anything?

how obvious is it that i'm running out of ideas Never mind. A tense game between Kreludor and Brightvale ended in a magnificently frustrating draw. Fortunately, the side-games resolved the results - the Moons taking Make Some Noise, the Wizards taking Shootout Showdown, and Slushie Slinger going to neither team - such that the draw extended to the entire match. Brightvale captain Montecito looked on the results positively, noting that "this was an opportunity. We could have done more with it, but we didn't let it go, either."

yayyyyy faeries Faerieland have claimed a Yooyuball win against Terror Mountain, followed by a draw in Slushie Slinger - a better showing than they gave in their last match against the Chillers. Although Terror Mountain still took the remaining two side events, the exuberance of Faerie supporters is not difficult to justify. Ah, I know! Let's have an interview with one. I'll just pop outside with a microphone and camera, and grab some one.

Hallo, there! I'm Midtime, from The Daily Neopets. I'd like to ask you a few questions about -

Oh! Are you a reporter, then?

Er - well, yes. Do I look like I'm filming a documentary about used microphone salesmen?

That's perfect! So are we - from the Altador Sunshine - and you're just the person we were looking for. Are we live? Excellent. First question: How do you feel your working environment has affected your unhealthy obsession with rocks and wanton violence?

I'm terribly sorry. You must have the wrong person.

[After a smoke-bomb, some frantic running, and several shouts of 'Fire! Fire!', the camera feed cuts to the newsroom again.]

Are we clear? I think so. Where were we? Um, all right. That wraps up the results for the Vaeolus Bracket. On to the matches to watch!

Today Faerieland will be facing Altador once again. The two teams haven't met since their first face-off at the very start of the season. The Faeries swept that time, but Altador's recent good fortune may give them the advantage they need to come out on top. Maraqua's match with Krawk Island will be the test as to whether they can keep up their miraculous performance; and the Lost Desert may have a shot at taking a game from champion-league Moltara if they put their heart into it.

That's all the Altador Cup news for today. This is Midtime, on behalf of The Daily Neopets crew, thanking you all very much for listening, and signing off.

Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily).

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Krawk Island Brooms Sweep Natives Out to Sea

on Friday, June 27th 2014 @ 10:20 am EST by Midtime

Greetings, dear viewers, and welcome to today's report! This is Midtime reporting from The Daily Neopets with another day impressively full of sweeps, and carrying a small dustpan to fulfil my pun quota. Having only one hand free to shuffle these papers is already starting to annoy me, so let's start off.

casually using this picture again and hoping no one will care In the Alabriss Bracket, following a few heartening victories against easier opponents, the Lost Desert have suffered another crushing defeat at the hands of mid-tier contender Darigan Citadel. The Minions, whose scores have lagged somewhat in recent matches, impressed fans with an enthusiastic 6-4 victory, followed up by landslide victories in all other events. Currently tied with Tyrannia for fourth place behind the tournament favourites, Darigan Citadel seem to be on top of the game once more, and captain Layton Vickles confidently announced his expectation to "finissssh ahead of the - " What? It's a sibilant, of course he - well, how do you expect me to tell the difference between east and central Darigan accents? Fine. Citadel captain Layton Vickles confidently announced that he expected to end the season in fourth place, ahead of Tyrannia. Leera Heggle of the Mummies, meanwhile, attracts fewer people who adhere to species-specific pronunciation…

team haunted woods Moltara, one of this year's powerhouses, came off better in their second match against the Haunted Woods - despite losing Yooyuball in a very close game, they maintained a solid hold on Shootout Showdown, and dedicated fans ensured that this time the Magmas won out in Make Some Noise, as well - splitting the events evenly both ways. Despite this setback, the Zombies remain in the lead, and fans still expect them to be the first team to take the Cup home twice.

filthy brightvalian kaniggits The Kikos' renowned talent for upsets did little to help them against the Knights, who have consistently outperformed other teams in their tier. Kiko Lake's tense, high-risk plays gave the Knights an opportunity to prove the integrity of the conventional, and a series of equally close battles across the other events left Kiko Lake just one draw short of a sweep. As this follows close on the heels of a surprising loss against the Mermaids, Kiko team captain "Poke" Cellers acknowledged that the team was perhaps in need of "a bit of a regrouping".

[Midtime absent-mindedly reaches up to rub his eyes, and succeeds in hitting himself in the forehead with the dustpan, producing a faint 'thock'.]

minitheus AND a somewhat sweepy type object Er. On to the Minitheus Bracket. Speaking of Maraqua, things seem to be back to normal for them. The sweep by Virtupets is disappointing but expected, even given their record-breaking results last round - results which they could not reproduce today. Although some remain hopeful for their next match, which is against the less psychologically imposing Mystery Island, the Mermaids are quickly running out of opportunities to show their mettle; though the Natives' scores have dropped recently as well, they aren't likely to let down their guard. Both teams seem absorbed in practice, as requests to interview them were flatly denied.

dinksy Yes, the Natives' performance somewhat disappointed their supporters, who after a poor showing against the Faeries were hoping for at least a sound victory against Krawk Island to help the team gain their footing again. The Pirates redeemed themselves from a poor showing against Meridell with an unexpected sweep, just edging out the Natives on all fronts - the cause of much celebration among their fans. While the Pirates have seen little change in their performance over the course of the Cup, they've certainly got the spirit to make Pirate supporters proud.

MAKE SOME NOISE if you have any breath left Meanwhile, Tyrannia, having weathered the tournament's most fearsome opponents, return to their usual routine, sweeping Shenkuu off the field by a considerable margin. The Fossils are clearly as spirited as ever; while the enthusiasm of Ninja supporters is undampened, and as the Cup proceeds into its final round it seems the cheering is only getting louder.

That's all for the first two brackets. I'll send you over to Brooke for the Vaeolus Bracket - I'm not sure where she is this time. Any way, where does this dustpan go?

janitors closet "Thank you, Midtime! Be careful with those dustpans, they can be a bit hard to handle! Get it? It's funny because they... have... handles? Okay, that was awful, sorry. This is Brooke, reporting to you from the janitor's closet immediately adjacent to the newsroom. I may or may not have been caught sneaking into the newsroom after hours to film a report early, even though I was expressly forbidden to do so by my boss. Maybe. Anyway, she said if I behave myself I might just see the inside of the newsroom again before the Cup is over! And I may possibly have accidentally dropped a fake mustache in her morning coffee, so I'm hoping that by staying out of sight (and therefore, ideally, out of mind), I might avoid further invoking her wrath.

"In any case, here's the results of the Vaeolus Bracket.

Traditional Grundo funeral ceremony. "In the first match of the bracket, Kreludor faced off against Faerieland, and the results came as a shock to approximately no one. While the Moons just came off the bad end of a hat-trick of sweeps, their scores have been consistent and proved much more effective against the Faeries than the powerhouses that are currently holding the top three overall positions. The matches were close, however; the Faeries may just have a chance to snag a few more wins as the Cup draws to a close.

Brightvale Ogrin, seconds before impact."Meanwhile, Brightvale and Roo Island were going head-to-head. The Wizards zapped the Rooligans on the Yooyuball field, and then carried that power to Shootout Showdown as well. The Rooligans, however, retaliated by bouncing solidly all over the Wizards in both Make Some Noise and Slushie Slinger. Roo Island is currently in a three-way tie for thirteenth place in the overall standings, but the margin between thirteenth and twelfth is close enough that they may be able to pass Maraqua.

team terror "In another less than surprising turn of events, Terror Mountain pulled off a sweep against Altador. The Chillers have achieved their first sweep of the season, which may spur them to a few last-minute wins. The scores, however, were close, and the Suns' bright disposition may yet carry them through to pass Faerieland and take them out of last place.

"Today, Virtupets will face off against last year's victors, Tyrannia, for the second time. Last time they won all events but Yooyuball. Perhaps Tyrannia will be a little luckier this time. Faerieland has a chance for a few more wins as they'll be facing Terror Mountain, and our eyes will also be on Maraqua for a surge against Mystery Island.

"On behalf of the entire team here at The Daily Neopets, I'd like to thank you for sticking with us. We're on the home stretch now, and we'll be sure to continue bringing you up-to-date coverage. This is Brooke, signing off for now!"

Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily).

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